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05:32 pm: Scarred for life

So, I’m getting my hair done cut, and there’s an ongoing conversation about family, the holidays, and so on. My stylist shared a few real gems:

1) A decent definition of “sufficiently drunk” is when you think that cows are really, really funny – but are still sober enough to think that running out into a cow field to try to push them over is a very bad idea.

2) “There’s something to that whole boy, girl thing,” because “women tend to be too cold, and men tend to generate insane amounts of heat. Two men in a bed is just too much!”

And finally, number 3) We were talking about travel with family, and how with some family members it’s comfortable to just sit and read – or to be in each other’s presence. At which point he exclaims “yeah, I’m like that with my mom. I totally should have married my mom.”

The salon murmured with gentle approbation, so he continued: “y’all – I’m from New Hampshire. We’re allowed to marry 1st cousins there.”

Someone allowed as to how that might, or might not, be over the line. He finished: “Damn, you’re all just jealous because you don’t have any hot cousins.”

On a lighter note, my cousin was telling stories over Thanksgiving. He shared the story of how his handgun safety instructor had actually shot a mugger. Apparently the instructor was up against a wall and had already handed the guy his watch and wallet. Then the story changed to “now I’m -a- shoot you.” He turned around, drew his pistol, and shot the guy 17 times. When the police asked why he shot the man 17 times he answered: “I ran out of bullets.”

Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Originally published at chris.dwan.org. You can comment here or there.



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